It is perfectly okay that you are not for everyone. Why? Because then not everyone has to be for you either. I used to believe that I could be friends with anyone and getting along well with people was my superpower. I still believe that getting along well with people is one of my strengths however these days I do so in a much more balanced way. I no longer put myself under pressure to be everyone’s cup of tea which I absolutely LOVE because it is sooooo much more relaxing. Not just because I am not berating myself anymore, but because I am no longer bending over backwards to read people’s cues and perform to fit their mould.

And it also means that I can be selective about who I let into my life, that it is not me being mean about who I think is a good fit for my life. I used to criticise myself if I did not want to be friends with someone, thinking that if I was not trying my hardest to see the absolute best in them I was being judgmental. But as time went by, I found that sometimes meant I had been overlooking alarm bells. I learned how to use my discernment and not just live by ideals as blanket rules. Yes, be open-minded and open-hearted but also trust my own inner judgement. I want to be friends with people who have similar values and perspectives on life, who are good-natured, genuine and love to laugh.

When did this start to happen? When I accepted myself more. And more. And more. I accepted myself so much that other people liking me didn’t seem to matter as much anymore. The people who do not gravitate towards me leave plenty of room for the people who do. And I just get to be me, which is the easiest thing in the world. The more of myself I am, the happier and more relaxed I am. And the happier and more relaxed I am, the more energy I have for other areas of my life.

I do not have to defend myself, nor do I have to convince anyone to be in my life. They either are, or they are not. And you should not have to either. Your worth as a person is inherent purely because you exist. There is nothing anyone can do, except yourself, to take that away from you. And it is not uncommon to give our power away as we get our validation from external sources. But if you have to fight to fit in, you are in the wrong place baby. You do not need to convince anyone to like you, just be yourself and your people will find you. If you are not yourself, how will they find you?