You do not have to be everything to everyone. When you do, you set yourself up for failure. You find a constant stream of reasons to feel like you are letting everyone else down. And, more importantly, you get upset when you don’t see people exerting the same kind of effort back towards you, when no one goes out on a limb to the same extend that you would go out for them.

When you are everything for everyone, you leave nothing for yourself. I am not saying drop everything all at once but, pick one relationship or area of your life where you could back off just a smidgen and allow the person at the other end to bridge the gap instead. In terms of relationships, if you have been helping someone you might see them create a solution of their own. Or, if you are the one doing most of the effort keeping in touch, the other person will either make the effort or you have a bit more in the tank for another area of your life. In other areas of your life where you have been putting out fires, pick a low priority fire and allow someone else the chance to swoop in. And sometimes the situation either resolves itself or works itself out in a way that was just meant to be.

There is a lot of material out there about the law of attraction and creating your reality, but the truth is we do not necessarily create the exact reality that we want. Instead what we do is we create the conditions for our reality to come forth. It is important to ask yourself what you want for the rest of your life. It can feel really good to be needed but on the flip side, it does not feel good to feel resentful towards others and anxious as to if they would still like you if asserted your own needs a little more. I do not know about you, but I do not particularly relish the prospect of forever feeling stressed out, overextended and a bit bitter. Danni says NO!  It is not conducive to a happy life, that is for sure. Balance is key and we want to have energy so we can take opportunities for our own personal fulfillment as they arise.

As I went through this process of rebalancing my life, there were times that I got the guilts as I withdrew bit by bit in the appropriate situations. For not giving as much of myself as I knew I had to give. However I did notice, usually later that same day, that a new situation would crop up where I could use this newfound emotional energy reserve. And it was usually in a circumstance that was more deserving than the initial one I withdrew from. Guilt begone! As time went by, as I overhauled and rebalanced and overhauled and rebalanced, my life became so much easier. I experienced so much less inner emotional friction and outer tension. My relationships felt better, my mental health was better, I took my career to new places and my dysfunctional eating habits dropped off, improving my health hugely. This is possible for you too!

Remember, it is not about rejecting others, it is about saying yes to you and to what you want for your life. It is okay to acknowledge your own limits and needs and not just hustle to be everything to everyone else first, leaving the dregs of your own emotional and mental energy for yourself. Moving forward, is this the reality that you want for the foreseeable future? You are important too and you do not have to sacrifice yourself, it is your life and you deserve to be happy. Balance is key.